Monday, April 5, 2010

Music Monday

I feel Just fine! Happy Monday All.

Do You Really Know Why You Got Married?

I saw the movie this weekend and as with the first one it was time to reflect on marriage in general. In my opinion, the first movie handled the complexity of the topic beautifully. But the second one muddled up the complexity of marriage with Hollywood drama. There were varying degrees of issues with each of the couples. Terry and Diane's relationship seemed plagued with infidelity, Marcus and Angela's relationship dealt with trust issues, Troy and Shelia's relationship tackled the intrusion of an "ex" as well as the unemployment of a spouse, and Gavin and Patricia's relationship was the most traumatized with the unresolved issue of the loss of a child. I believe the movie took on too much to fully develop in 2 hours. If I ordered the couples' problems to solve from easiest to most difficult they would be in this order:

1) Marcus/Angela - needed Marriage Counseling and Communication 101
2) Troy/Shelia - needed Marriage Counseling, Communication 101 and Individual Counseling for Shelia
3) Terry/Diane - needed Marriage Counseling
4) Gavin/Patricia - needed Individual and Marriage Counseling and the marriage still might not have been salvageable

What both movies brought to light is that marriage is a very unique, complex, spiritual, and fragile institution that requires full attention and work from both partners. It requires both people to have individual strength as well as joint strength to ride the tides of life. Mostly, a couple must solidly and jointly know why they got married and keep that in sight at all times, so that when life throws a curve ball they have a foundation to weather the storm. Not all storms can be weathered, so there may be a time when a couple needs to face the realization that both are no longer on the same page and there isn't a path to get there.

Ultimately, marriage needs unconditional love which I believe has the following attributes trust, affection, respect, admiration, empowerment, loyalty, intimacy, and appreciation. Without the combination of those attributes a door is opened for problems. Whatever the situation may be, the key to surviving in my opinion is really honestly and deeply understanding why you got married and drawing from that to fight for the marriage. I keep why I got married close to my heart everyday. I wanted to be a part of that TEAM called marriage! I realize that while I am an individual with individual desires I can't go through marriage being just an individual.

My marriage has seen many hills and valleys over the last 14 years and I know it will see many more. I believe with our spiritual grounding, God's grace, and both mine and the frog's hard work with genuine love we will continue to know why we got married.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Springing Back

I'm back for a spell! Spring is in the air and me, the tadpoles and the frog are loving it. Going to start this time with Music Monday's. Music so makes my soul happy! There is no better Music Monday selection than Chocolate High! Hope everyone has a source that causes a chocolate high in your life as I do!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Friday Funday

Tonight my family and I are jamming to the tunes and doing a soul train line. We are getting our workout on and having a great time. As I get ready to boogie on down the line have a great Friday bloggers!!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wednesday's Princess Pamper Principle

As busy business owners, employees, wives, mothers, "go-to girls", daughters, sisters, friends, super women, we often forget to take time out for ourselves to relax, de-stress, and rebuild. This week's Pamper Principle focuses on a list of things that I enjoy doing to unwind and some relaxation techniques to try in your quest to de-stress.

My favorite things to unwind:
1. Reading a frivolous chicklit book
2. Listening to jazz, classical or "quiet storm" music
3. Knitting
4. Taking a long walk
5. Soaking in a luxurious bubble bath in a candle lit bathroom
6. Baking
7. Watching romantic comedies
8. Taking a nap
9. Going to the lake
10. Going window shopping

Relaxation Techniques-St. Joseph's University Counseling and Personal Development Center

Whole Body Tension

Tense everything in your whole body; stay with that tension, and hold it as long as you can without feeling pain. Slowly release the tension and very gradually feel it leave your body. Repeat three times.

Visual Imagery

Open your imagination and focus on your breathing. As your breathing becomes calm and regular, imagine that the air comes to you as a cloud - it fills you and goes out. You may imagine the cloud to be a particular color.

Eye Fixation

With your head level and your body relaxed, pick a spot to focus on (eyes are open at this point). When ready, count five breaths backward. With each breath allow your eyes to close gradually. When you get to number one, your eyes will be closed. Focus on the feelings of relaxation.

Counting Ten Breaths Backwards

Allow yourself to feel passive and indifferent, counting each breath slowly from ten to one. With each count, allow yourself to feel heavier and more relaxed. With each exhale, allow the tension to leave your body.

Shoulder Shrug

Try to raise your shoulders up to your eyes. Hold for the count of four. Now drop your shoulders back to a normal position. Repeat three times.

Shoulder Rotation

Rotate your shoulders back, down and around, first one way, then the other. Do one shoulder, then the other. Now do both at the same time. Note: This is also good for back, arms, and neck.

Cat Stretch

Stand - feet slightly apart. Take a deep breath as you stretch arms over head. Slowly exhale as you lean forward, bringing arm and head down. Do slowly and gently five times.

Now take two of these and get a good nights rest Superwomen!